Brynna I’ve been thinking about the different ways we “feel” a broken heart. The last few months have left me feeling emotionally wiped out and despite my efforts to remain unshaken because I’ve tried so hard to remain grounded in Truth throughout everything, I won’t lie that I had to be picked up off the ground or dragged from the mud many, many times. If I’m honest, most of the time life just flat out sucked. And then as soon as you feel like you can see that light at the end of the tunnel, someone else you care for gets slammed and you watch as satan runs in to claim every opportunity to achieve doubt and discouragement with the goal of division and destruction. And the heartache starts all over again only from the outside instead of the inside.
There’s the heartbreak that happens when it’s you and it’s your heart that has shattered into pieces. The kind where you often feel like you can’t breathe, want to be sick and don’t eat or sleep well, where it’s painful just to get through each new day, and you try so hard to hold onto hope but constantly feel like you’re drowning. When you pray constantly and feel like you want to curl up and hide inside your Bible because everywhere else is just a reminder of the pain and any time you take your eyes off the Word you slip back further and feel like you have to start all over again.
Then there’s the aching sadness you feel for someone else when THEY are going through the suffocating, painful, drowning heartache. The times where you hurt so badly for someone else that your lungs don’t seem to completely fill with air and you never want to stop praying for that person because you feel like you’re the Aaron to their Moses and you have to keep their arms held high because they can’t do it.
It’s so hard guys. It’s hard and it hurts. It hurts to be the broken heart, and it hurts to see the broken heart. I’m so grateful for God’s promises. He tells us that “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) He’s with us. He’s with them. He knows EXACTLY what He is doing, and His timing is perfect. Sometimes we just have to keep reciting things like that to ourselves over and over again, even if we can’t wrap our brain around it, because sometimes it’s the only foundation we have to stand on. God IS moving, He is working all things together for HIS glory, which is why we are all here in the first place. You ARE part of a plan, you DO have a purpose, and no matter why God is allowing you to go through whatever it is you’re dealing with, there’s a reason and He has already equipped you with what you need to get through it, AND He will see you through to the end. Where else will you find such promises and see them carried through? Let Him create beauty from your ashes, guys. No other way is worth it.
