Brynna The mind is, no kidding, a battlefield. Lemme tell ya, in years past when I was losing baby after baby, I struggled SO much with bitterness, anger, and holding on to grief (I think because I felt like if I didn’t everyone else would forget my babies, but I didn’t realize that’s just the nature of these things, regardless). Many people don’t realize that even though you have living children, miscarriage is still SO freaking hard on you. It took me probably a decade to really feel like I’d overcome most of that…meaning, just a handful of years ago. Yeah, so having those feelings come bubbling back to the surface in the last few weeks was HARD, guys. Actually almost scary. Like, “God PLEASE don’t let me go back there! PLEASE don’t let me feel that way again!” Staying in seemingly constant prayer and communication with God is vital. I’ve been here before, and not with just miscarriages. But with marriage stuff as well, I know how quickly and easily fear and doubt and discouragement can creep in when you let your guard down for even just a moment. It’s like if I take my focus off of Jesus and just GLANCE to the side, I have to start all over again because I just lose it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about?”Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Remember, these mental battlefields can be an opportunity. Like spiritual weight lifting. Giving way to the fear, doubt and discouragement is the EASY way out, for reals, yet it comes with far more difficult results. Not worth it.To anyone else who’s struggling, hang in there. Let’s chat, if you want. I’ll pray for you. We can’t do this life thing alone, nor were we created to.
