Brynna Next time you consider someone to just be “freaking out” about something, offer them grace, because what they’re feeling probably totally sucks and they’re not proud of it and don’t enjoy it but it still happens. For many people, myself included, it is a response rooted in fear, whether realistic or not. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid than other times, but when it creeps up subtly until you’re overwhelmed, or when it just hits you like a ton of bricks and you don’t even have time to think coherently, it takes work (and often time) to get out of that state. If you’ve never experienced this, let me be raw here and give you some insight- it can start as a small trigger or nagging feeling (truth or lie, doesn’t matter), then your mind starts going in all directions, then the “freaking out” begins, emotions like bitterness, anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, depression, and definitely fear kick in on high gear, you go to worst case scenario by default, there can be crying, yelling, withdrawing…basically all the things that are NOT healthy responses to anything, topped off with the guilt of getting to that point in the first place and the added fear of scaring people away. Then the feeling like you’ve ruined something, that you’re unlovable/unforgivable, that it’s going to take days to get out of that state, and that you’ve just screwed things up again.
Please be gracious. People don’t want to feel or respond this way. It isn’t a Biblical reaction, no…but it usually means they have suffered from grief, PTSD, abandonment, or something else that affected them deeply, and it can also be related to health issues, which is compounded when it’s the combination of the two. Neither are a quick fix and can just be made to “go away.”
It’s hard to repeatedly ask for patience from people when you deal with this, but being offered GRACE when things spiral downward helps SO much and actually contributes to healing and getting this anxiety stuff under control. So if you’re the one who is being asked to be patient and gracious, know that you’re actually helping someone overcome this nasty, detrimental state. Your steadfastness provides security and trust, which helps eliminate the fears and contribute to much needed healing. I know it’s asking a lot, but please know it’s worth it for BOTH of you.
