Brynna It gets so tiring, being misunderstood. It’s so hard to battle grief and all the feelings that stick around after a miscarriage, and have that interpreted as having a cold heart, or being uncaring.
Miscarriage doesn’t end when the physical process is over. That initial due date doesn’t just disappear. The reminder that your body is broken and couldn’t do what it was designed to do doesn’t go away. Those dreams and scenarios played out in your head when you find out you’re expecting a baby don’t get erased from your memory.
Please, be gracious to people grieving, even if it’s years later. Don’t interpret difficulty in celebrating others as selfishness and cold-heartedness- trust me, the ones struggling are likely beating themselves up enough over having feelings about their own situations instead of just thinking of others! Imagine knowing you should be over the moon for someone, for new life, and while you’re trying to be, instead you’re flooded with memories and all the emotions you had tried to get over and thought were gone. Pain comes back, the feeling of failure comes back, the frustration of the whole situation comes back. It makes you feel crummy and apparently makes you APPEAR selfish and heartless.
Husbands, come alongside your wives. It was your sweet baby, too. Family, reach out. Friends, be patient. You don’t have to pity, or coddle, or give any special treatment. Just acknowledge and love. Acknowledgement goes a long way, and that seems to be the response that is missing most often.
