Brynna I’ve begun working on my self-talk, and in order to do so, I talk to myself more. No, but really, I’ve been super intentional lately about telling myself I’m beautiful (not vain, but because I am GOD’S beautiful creation, made in His image!), telling myself I’m a good mom, telling myself I’m a good wife, telling myself I am a good cook, telling myself I am confident, saying, “I feel good!” and “It’s a good day!”
All of this goes against every natural fiber of my being. It feels weird, and even wrong to a point, to frequently be complimenting myself, if you wanna call it that. The irony of that perspective? It was WRONG of me for 35 years to be speaking so much of the opposite. My negative self-talk started young and has been much of the reason I have such low confidence, such poor body image, blame myself for everything, beat myself up for the tiniest of mistakes, and lower my standards to a lie…which in turn affected my marriage and mamahood.
But I’m finding that when I force myself to speak positively about myself, to myself- whether internally or out loud- I am not leaving room for the negative. I’m creating a totally different mindset. Instead of feeling crummy about my body, I’m feeling like I’m doing pretty well for a mom of 5+. Instead of sulking when I think I’ve upset someone, I move on and remind myself I’m not responsible for their mood and cannot control it. Instead of my day derailing over a mistake, I can know it was small beans and doesn’t define me.
It’s hard. It doesn’t feel natural. And that little voice in my head that has fooled me for so many years likes to try and convince me that I’m making too big of deal about myself. But the truth is, I’m finally trying to see myself the way God does. #goals
This is all part of big changes I want to make. I’m even doing a summer class with Meghann Chapman on self-care, the type of thing I never imagined myself participating in, but I can already tell that the guidance and camaraderie are more valuable that I gave credit to. It just goes to show that sometimes God answers our prayers with things we never saw coming. (like my story with Young Living! )
